Thank I guess.
It’s weird - I’ve kinda expressed it before. I am in a happy place right now with my body. I’m happier now then I was several years ago when I gained to roughly this size with no lifting. I’m happier then I was lean and just building muscle.
Am I super close to being the biggest I’ve ever been - Yep.
Am I huge - I don’t really think so. But I’m just getting started.
Bigger which would result in being Heavier
Thinking I want to get back into taking more photos. Even if it’s just with my iPhone camera.
In less then 12 hours the boyfriend in coming up for the next 3 days. It’s been far to long. I am jittery and excited and nervous all over again.
I can’t wait for him to walk out of the airport and hug him.
Just hug him and know he is here and mine. Gonna pack as many little touches in as I can this weekend.
Both the friendly kind and the naughty kind.
And then I get a couple messages here and elsewhere who think their anon and/or generally unsolicited opinion of what I should do with my appearance is wanted.
It’s a bit pricey but I’m debating adding it back in as my protein/gainer shake as it was something I used in college that really helped the size pack on.
I currently sit 3LBS shy of my old highest weight from six years ago.
It honestly came as a shock to me. I have been lifting and eating and extremely happy with where my body had been heading. But I wasn’t aware I had gotten so big. Despite the comments that my family made a few weeks ago when I visited.
I know a fair number of folks that would be stoked to get back to their all time high but I have mixed feeling. I have bad memories of when I was this big before and the negative personal aftermath.
So I have to remind myself how I’m different, that I am stronger, that’s waist is tighter then it was 6 years ago. 38 size waist now and 42 size waist then.
This size, the weight I have for myself right now honestly make me feel big and confident and strong. For the first time in a while I actually feel comfortable in my skin.
Being a purely focused as a gainer wasn’t for me
Being a purely focused on being lean wasn’t for me
I’m the happiest I’ve been with myself in a while
Wish me luck as I push the muscle forward towards the next milestone.